HEALTHY: How To Get Out Of A Rut
I'm surrounded by beautiful, wonderful, ambitious people who are unbelievably intelligent and have surges of creative greatness. But when happens when your spark has dulled and you have no fire left in you? A number of my friends have come to me, plagued with "the rut". The magnificent thing about a rut, though, is that the only direction is up.
To be painfully open with you all, this past year has been a struggle for me. Personally, I dealt with a break-up that singed my emotions to ashes and left me building from scratch. Luckily, I feed off the strength of a cast-iron Mama and my army of amazing girlfriends who helped pull me through. Not to mention, I've achieved a number of goals I've never thought I would and I've met some great people along the way.
So, how can you get out of your rut? I can only speak from my experience, but here it goes:
All too often are people in denial about their state of well-being. "Ehh, I'm just in a bad mood, I'll get over it" is usually what I hear from folks. The first step to fixing a problem is admitting that you actually have a problem.
Sit. Be honest with yourself. Has this mood stuck around for months? If so, what has changed that you may not have noticed? Or maybe you're totally aware of what's bugging you. Either way, write all of the potential reasons down.
Once you've made your list of problems, address each one. Is it financial issues? Create a budget. Don't like your job? Maybe it's time to switch careers. Had a bad breakup? Quarter life crisis? Seriously think about what would make you feel better . Like I mentioned earlier, for me it was the break after a long-term relationship. I sat and was purely honest with myself and created a list of things that I didn't like about my current situation. I was sad I'd never really traveled as an adult. I was uncomfortable with what I saw in the mirror. I knew it was time to...
And I don't mean quick-fast results. Real progress is gradual. Think of short-term tasks you can complete to get you to your long-term goal. Want to start a business? Take a class or two. Ready for weight loss? Incorporate new foods and habits weekly. Want to travel abroad? Try a local weekend trip first. Short-term goals lead to long-term goals lead to ultimate fulfillment. Take your time, you are a work in progress.
The key to successfully pulling yourself out of this dark hole is maintaining. It will be so tough but stick to your plans. The satisfaction of hitting a goal and seeing it through totally outweighs the instant gratification of slipping back into your comfort zone. I find the easiest way to keep with something is to reward yourself for reaching goals.
When in doubt, call a friend. If all else fails, the genuine company of someone who truly means something to you heals all. And no, I don't mean call your ex or that fine guy you met while on line at Trader Joe's. Call your homegirl that knows your deepest secrets, break out the Cookie Butter and watch something ridic like "Donnie Darko", I don't know. Just steer clear of chick flicks or period movies with Kiera Knightly. They're guaranteed to Candy Crush the shit out of your emotions.
Have you been dealing with emotional stress lately? How are you handling it? Any advice you can offer others?