Boudoir Love (Of Self)
There came a point in my life where I needed to push far outside of the confines of my comfort zone. At the intersection between marriage and my wilder, free-spirited counterpart, I did a boudoir shoot last spring. Teamed up with the über talented J William Washington and his beautiful wife Shayla, I got my first glance into the woman I was becoming. Who knew a random trip to LA to visit friends would become a pivotal moment in my life?
Oddly enough, I have been sitting on these photos for a couple of weeks - I've been slightly apprehensive to share them (the internet is a scary place). But my sorority sister has a boudoir shoot of her own planned for her birthday in a few weeks and reached out a few days ago for advice. A firm believer in things happening for a reason, I'm going to go ahead and share things that I learned from this shoot for both she and other ladies who are looking to explore boudoir shoots.
1. Do not wear anything that you are not comfortable in.
The first rule of thumb is to make sure you are wearing something you are comfortable in. Bring a silky robe, a prop, some thigh socks - whatever will keep you level. You can easily peel layers off (like I did for this shoot, but I'm not sharing :P), but starting off with something will help ease you into it.
2. Make sure the person you are shooting with is reputable.
J William Washington is one of the best in the game when it comes to capturing the female form and boudoir shooting, so I knew I was in good hands. Having his wife and an MUA there certainly helped as well. Check the references of the photographer; even better if it's a friend or someone a friend has worked with in the past. Check Yelp, and even ask questions of previous models they may have shared on Instagram. It's better to be safe than sorry, especially when you're at your most vulnerable.
3. Find a happy place and stay there.
To truly relax, I didn't allow myself to focus on my posing. I drifted off to a happy place with thoughts of my husband and our soon-to-be wedding date. Think of the things that bring you the most joy - whether it's a tender moment with a loved one or a genuinely happy moment that you've experienced. Those blissful thoughts will loosen you up and eventually that smile will come out naturally. Talking to my sorority sister, she was most concerned about her "sexy" look coming off as awkward and I told her to chill out. Seriously, get into a happy zone and bask in it. Take in the noises, the smells, the air of your environment and connect.
4. Set the mood, right?
Just like any grand romantic gesture, I think setting the mood for yourself is key. Do you love flowers? Bring some. Light some candles, spray some perfume. Whatever will get you in the mood, do it. I even recommend a playlist of your favorite smooth songs - think "Set The Mood" by Justin Timberlake or some jazz. Think less Trey Songz and more Teddy Pendergrass. Also, consider the shooting location. I was lucky enough to be staying with Elann who has a beautiful place. Between her high windows that beam in tons of light and her eclectic yet modern decor, I couldn't have chosen a better place to shoot.
5. Don't drink!
Obviously, this is a personal preference. But looking around the internet, it seems the consensus is that taking a shot is the best way to loosen up. I personally think it loosens you up too much and your photos end up looking sleepy instead of sexy. Also, this is a seriously intimate moment and you really should try to connect with it and bask in your glory. Allow yourself to go there without alcohol. You will not regret it.
6. Invest in your lingerie.
This moment will be forever immortalized - you should want to look your best in it! For my plus-size ladies, here are some places I suggest:
Any other tips that you may have for boudoir shoots? Share below!