I’m Back, Baby! (Sorta)

Ahhh, I’m feeling so brand new I don’t even know where to begin.

First, I’d like to apologize to my blog for completely abandoning it for four years. For some [very strange] reason, I thought condensing my content to the short-form format of social media was a good idea. I made this decision with much haste without halfway considering that I’d be handing ownership of said content to the powers that be. Without realizing it, I’d relinquished my power to a machine whose only goal is optimization and capitalism. I’d completely lost my mind, lol.

Around my birthday, I’d developed a crazy stomach bug (that I now understand was likely norovirus) that hammered me to my couch. I was forced to rest right before the holidays and I realized quickly that I needed to rest. Both and my body and brain wanted to be laid down for a second. This sent me into my first sabbatical of my adult life - a six week hard reset that I’ve vowed to repeat for the rest of my years. Baby…there’s absolutely NOTHING like a slow January.

In this time, I really and truly sat with my path forward. What do I want from my career? What do I want from my life? It became pretty clear to me that I wanted my time back. I wanted my joy back. And I damn sure wanted my autonomy back - especially as we’ve moved into an administration that is moving so sheisty with its media and monitoring.

You see, for the last five years I’ve been working like a dog. I’d embarked on a new career path that sent me on the journey of a lifetime. But along the way, I lost parts of myself. I let myself get lost in my work (which I loved at the time), but my body paid the price. I did not maintain a healthy sleep schedule, I lacked consistent movement, and I ate whatever was around me. I let perfectionism lead to crippling anxiety (that almost put me in the hospital last year). I was swept up and just…floating.

During my break, I tried to reach back and think about the things I really used to love. I’d read and re-read a blog post I wrote a decade ago where I was full of so much gratitude and just happy to be here. Happy to create. I knew I was contributing to something so much bigger than myself, and did so with so much joy. And there’s nothing I want more than to revisit this feeling.

So here I am, returning to where it all started. Hosting MY content on MY platform. We are so back (while prioritizing ease and moving with intention instead of overproducing to keep up with algorithms).

Much love to my friend Lydia Hudgens for these photos - they will be included in her coffee table book slated to launch later this year xx